3 things to say when you need to give a coworker difficult feedback

· 2 min read

Get better at: Giving hard feedback

Today's move

Ditch the compliment sandwich and try this three-step framework for providing feedback.

First, offer praise for something they're doing well.

Next, be direct about the issue you want to address.

Then, provide a specific suggestion for how to improve.

Why it works

Etiquette experts Daniel Post Senning and Lizzie Post said that the classic compliment sandwich isn't necessarily the most effective way to give feedback.

However, if you end the conversation by offering a specific suggestion, rather than a compliment, you're helping them understand how to improve and and feedback becomes constructive.

A 2022 study published by the American Psychological Association found that people do value honest feedback. The study comprised five feedback experiments with nearly 2,000 participants. In all five experiments, the people providing feedback consistently underestimated how much others wanted it.

Try it today

Take five minutes before you leave work to write down feedback you've been avoiding addressing with someone. Use the three-step framework to plan out what you're going to say.

Make sure you end with a specific suggestion they can apply to improve.

The bottom line

People appreciate honest feedback, and want to get better, but they need guidance, not just criticism.

Source

This advice comes from Business Insider's 2025 interview with etiquette experts Daniel Post Senning and Lizzie Post, who shared a three-step approach to giving constructive criticism. You can read the full story here.

This story also includes information from a study published by the American Psychological Association, which shows that people underestimate others' desire for feedback. You can read more about that study here.

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Ana Altchek

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Ana  writes about workplace trends and how AI is reshaping the roles of software engineers. She also regularly interviews C-suite executives about their career trajectories and leadership insights.Ana hosts a weekly video series called "Work Shift," which breaks down the biggest workplace news of the week. She holds a master’s degree in multimedia journalism from NYU and has been featured on BBC, NPR, and other global media platforms.Have a tip? You can contact her via email at [email protected] or through the secure-messaging app Signal at aalt.19.

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